


The fitting sort of love

by UMsArchive



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, M/M, that didn't last for long, was supposed to be more angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 06:16:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9110185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UMsArchive/pseuds/UMsArchive
Summary: And so a new, more beautiful and more powerful Agape was born. And Otabek was there. If he were to replay it right then, Otabek would still be right there. Not in Eros.





	

It has been coming onto him so gradually, so naturally, that Yuri did not think it necessary and did not suspect it to be necessary for him to question it - for a long time. What happened when he met Otabek - and their entire history onwards - was contradicting the tendency in the dynamics of every other bond he had ever had, from beginning to the end - or better said present state; he has fathomed an end to it as much as he has ever given thought to any other step in their relationship, of whatever sorts it had been up to this point in time. 

Almost a year into comfortably dating each other, over two years after they had become friends, his mind seemed to be basically making up for not thinking much of anything thus far, by OVERthinking every bit of everything. And he blamed it entirely on a night of drinking out with the soon-to-be-married Viktor Nikiforov. 

The gray haired man’s merry sappiness and a few shots of disinhibiting quality Russian vodka may have turned the younger Yuri a little bit sappy in return, enough to confess he might not be too far from being equally smitten himself. It had been the first time he opened up to anyone about his and Otabek’s casual dating over the last many months. And under the influence of an alcohol tightened warmth in his chest, it hadn’t felt like an overwhelming step. And before he knew it, a few more shots were downed and his - not Viktor’s - love life was the centre of their conversation. With a vodka inducted mushy heart, his thoughts have been turned that way, and, because he was a chatty drunk, and because Viktor was there, being in just the right disposition to hear about butterflies, quickened heartbeats and hopes of love, Yuri had found himself spitting it all.

He started with a casual hint of having a boyfriend himself and because earnest requests for more information has been made, because the shots were continuously poured, and because he was feeling brave, he ended up starting from the beginning-

\- a curious look thrown across a room. A tempting unexpected motorbike ride. A tempting unexpected friendship. A new friend in his thoughts when he performed Agape that following day and further on from then. Suppressing beaming smiles when competitions brought them together again. Suppressed overwhelming excitement when meetings and visits happened on purpose. Yet, a growing closeness never suppressed. 

Viktor had said nothing of importance. Nothing that Yuri could honestly say he remembered the next day, anyways. Weirdly, all he could recall from yesterday was a lame pun about ‘starting as Agape and ended up as Eros’ which should’ve gone and passed by Yuri’s ear as the unoriginal old man joke it had been, but the very ridiculous comparison was one of the few things that stuck with him from that night and haunted his thoughts, together with the tough embarrassment of having gushed like a teenager just the other day. 

When he thought of Otabek, he didn’t think of Eros, not in the least. Because he couldn’t even encompass very well the idea of Eros. Back when he was 15, he had boldly claimed the program that ended up in the hands of the future Nikiforov without a second thought, because it hadn’t been much of a big deal. He had thought of the program’s significance as much as he had thought of the symbolism of Agape as well, at the time - so, not at all. He had imagined the frantic movement on the ice that would come with the great beat, the attraction of the skating, not the sexuality that has supposedly flown in rivers the moment Viktor has put on the show.

He wouldn’t have admitted it, but he ended up understanding what made Eros just as much as he understood what made Agape. By the time they had the small competition in Hasetsu, it was obvious for him that Katsudon had figured out a hint of whatever Viktor had sparked it with himself, and make use of it, while Yuri wasn’t even able to put the hint HE had to good use. 

Yuri wasn’t a religious person. His Agape couldn’t be made from that sort of unconditional love. He honestly loved his grandfather. He had only ever relied on him - truly relied. So, he had only truly granted him that same love - the assurance that HE could rely on Yuri as well. So, maybe, Yuri may have not been too trusting of other people, too willing to take that chance to give and trust he’ll get in return, or accept that sometimes it’s ok only to give.

And so a new, more beautiful and more powerful Agape was born. And Otabek was there. If he were to replay it right then, Otabek would still be right there. Not in Eros. 

Katsudon had graced them with a few admirable versions of Eros. And he could see Yuuri fitting there. And he could see how it was fitting for Viktor, in relation to the other. But he couldn’t envision Otabek there. Not himself either. Agape still responded to him more. And Otabek was still there, too, for him.

And that was the thought that had him panicking. Has Yuri messed up in this? Has he, out of a lack of experience thought of it more than it was supposed to be? Has he lied to Otabek when he told him he liked him that way?

He could clearly say their relationship stood out from any other bonds he had, that yes. His grandfather was family. That was easy to label. Yakov and Lilia. They weren’t really family. And they weren’t really friends. But they were important. Victor and Yuuri. They weren’t quite friends. He could say they were something more than that. But they were special nonetheless. Otabek. He knew he had been his very first friend. And well, he has made a few more along the way, but Otabek has always been better. Not just ‘better’. Giddily extraordinaire. 

From spending time with others, he still felt a strain, felt tired after a while. Wanting to get away, even if he loved when he had them around. But he was never tired of Otabek. 

Otabek was not loud - he could never be obnoxious. He was soft spoken. Correct. He chose his words carefully. He was not intrusive. He’d wait. He’d let Yuri choose his words carefully too. He did not ask for more than he was given. He knew when Yuri just wanted them to be quiet. He liked quiet, too. They both liked what the other liked. That’s why they clicked. Sometimes Yuri thought HE might be too loud and restless for Otabek. But he’s seen the reflection of ‘I’m tired of socialising already’ times before in him, in the presence of others, but not Yuri’s.

They would share that look, they’d retreat together. If, after, Yuri was the one who happened to talk and laugh and jump around and pull him to a store and then to another, Otabek would still go through it with a serene expression, even a soft smile.

He looked at his boyfriend’s picture on his screen, thinking. Otabek had a strong jaw. An enchanting profile. His eyes were the best eyes Yuri’s ever met. Powerful, but warm, endless pools of understanding bottled in captivating black orbs. He had a strong, wide body that moved with purpose, but in a boldly elegant manner. He liked the way he looked moving towards Yuri, in that same manner, like he wasn’t fearful or adamant to get near, but was also looking for his approval to do it. 

A knock on his door. Yuri smiled weakly, in spite of feeling uneasy - he would recognise that knock. He couldn’t not open the door now.

“You have a key, Beka!” he said unexpectedly calm. It was just the feeling Otabek brought with his presence. Perhaps-

He came in. “You didn’t answer the phone today, so I thought I shouldn’t just barge in.” He was taking off his leather gloves and green scarf. His cheeks, ears and nose were flushed from the cold; his hair was ruffled from the wind. Perhaps-

“Hangover. The Gray Man always trying his best to destroy me,” he replied, sitting up. His eyes were roaming all over Otabek. Perhaps-

Otabek looked back at him, he seemed happy, eager to close the remaining distance, but also cautious, waiting patiently for Yuri to give a sign. Perhaps-

Yuri couldn’t believe that bit eluded him before, but, as he crossed the room without a second thought, there was no wishful thinking in the honest happiness he took Otabek’s cold cheeks in his hands and kissed his frozen, chapped lips. There was no Eros in that. But he hasn’t been mistaken either. Perhaps-

Otabek slipped his cold hands up underneath his shirt, making him flinch from the sudden coolness, hitting Otabek playfully. Perhaps-

Otabek laughed, something Yuri never saw him do in front of anyone else. When Otabek laughed heartily, he didn’t throw his head back, like most people do, but forward, angling to the right, making it easy in times like these for it to fall on Yuri’s shoulder. He sighed after, holding him tighter, pulling him closer. There was nothing Eros in it, not really. But it wasn’t platonic either. 

Everything on Otabek’s person was a loud statement that he was ready to lift someone up as much as he was to help them lay down. And he had pointedly offered those to Yuri exclusively. Yuri had never thought himself as someone who needed others’ strength. But Otabek was significant to him. He was HIS significant one. 

There was definitely more than Eros and sensuality in a significant other and perhaps Eros wasn’t even a must. Perhaps there were still things they haven’t figured out in their relationship. But Yuri knew he could not even hesitate to put his pride aside and claim he was lovestruck in the silliest of ways. And, knowing himself and his disposition, if that was the case, then there were no doubts to think over.


End file.
